I can hardly believe it has been 1 week and 1 day since we found out. It had to be the slowest, and yet fastest week all in one. My mind is still having a hard time grasping how it can be over with so quickly. We got a call last Wednesday at about 1 p.m. saying that "R" was going to sign and congrats, only to be called back about three hours later to hear that it fell through. Life changed in an instant, and just like that, our "child" was gone. Until the day I die, I will pray for "R" and wonder about the baby. With tears in my eyes, and with my heart breaking, I know it is the will of God and that His timing is perfect, but it does still hurt.
Perhaps the hardest thought for me is jumping back into waiting. I hate waiting. I am literally physically sick of waiting. It means ups and downs emotionally, and going days, possibly even weeks without any new news. If I start to think about it too much, I feel suffocated at the thought of how long it could be. If you would all please pray that God could lift that heaviness, I would really appreciate it. It seems so heavy and really hard for me to take at times.
While we wait, I go back to praying for the child that is to be ours, the birthmom, our girls, and us. I pray that God would prepare all of us in every aspect. God obviously has an incredibly special baby just for us and there has to be reasons on why He has us wait even longer. So I pray for God to fulfill in our lives, or the baby, or the birthmom, those reasons.