Friday, April 6, 2012

Nominated As A Top 25 Adoption Blog {Please Vote}

I feel incredibly honored to say that someone nominated my little blog to be a Top 25 Adoption Blog. I'm not sure that words can exactly express how touched I was to receive that e-mail today in my inbox.

I love writing and writing about one of my top passions of adoption is incredibly special to my heart. I don't do it for money, fame, or anything else but to often just write my heart out on "paper". Or it is to help open the eyes of those who have never been open to adoption before. Otherwise, it is even to share the little bit of knowledge I have on adoption with those who are searching for more information on it.

So thank you! If you would like, I'd love for you to vote for my blog by clicking either the logo above or to the right of this post and scrolling until you find my blog: On Our Hearts. All you need to do is click the little thumbs up and you have voted for the day!  You can vote once every 24 hours until April 26, 2012 at 4 p.m. PST.

Thank you and love to you all!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Working Through Some Emotions

I went shopping tonight with the girls. All three of them, by myself. I must have been feeling brave. As I was trying to coral the girls into the cart and down an aisle, I looked up and there you were. Well, not really, but whoever it was looked like you.

My heart did a little flip flop of excitement and then pain followed as I realized how I wish I could see you. It's been close to two years and somehow and for some reason I wish you could be involved in our lives, even just a little bit.

I'm always uncertain if I should continue to send you letters. I know you have only responded to one and so then I question if that is because it is too painful to read more and see more pictures of her? At the same time, when I look at it from a mother's perspective, I would want the letters, even if they are painful.

My heart is sad tonight. For you, and for her. For both of you are missing out on so much it seems and I'm not sure how to fix it. Maybe I'm not ever suppose to fix it?

So many times I look at her and watch her and wish that in that exact moment you could see her, hear her little voice, and feel her chubby arms wrap around your neck. Then I look to her and realize that one day, she too will wish you could have been there. As a mama, it pains my heart to know both of you will or already have experienced pain, just in different ways.

If that would have been you tonight that I met in the aisle of Target, I would have told you to hold her, play with her, snuggle her until your pain subsided just a little as your heart overflowed with love. And I know mine would have too!