Thursday, December 30, 2010

Xiomara's Finalization Day

After a two and a half year wait, the girl that we dreamed of for what seems like forever is officially ours!

The day started out with me trying to get a picture of the three girls together. Yeah, it didn't work too well! :)

Then we went up to the courthouse and waited.

So we took a family picture.

Then we waited some more inside the courtroom.

Finally, in what took all of maybe 10 minutes, our girl that we knew in our heart was ours, was made officially ours.

She was worth every second of heartache, every minute of waiting, every penny spent! If we had to, we would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

And we couldn't be any happier about that! :)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Finalization Day!

Today is finalization day! Needless to say, I think we aren't the only ones who are excited! :)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

We have a court date!

We have a court date! On December 28, 2010 at 2:15 p.m. Xiomara will become officially ours!!

Although we know she is ours in our hearts, we need the courts to legally tell us so on paper.

What a wonderful Christmas it is in our home! :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

One more step in the process!

We got the official call today from our placing agency that all went well at the courthouse this morning and that Xiomara's birthfather's rights have been terminated. Praising God!

All that is needed now is for us to finalize her adoption before the end of the year. We don't have that much time, but we are praying that God will help us and find favor with us tomorrow when we go to the courthouse to set a date. Please pray with us!

Thanks all! :)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Happy Birthday "J"!

Happy Birthday to one of the most amazing women and mother's in our lives. We love you. Wish we could celebrate the day with you. We are however celebrating you with our love and prayers all day.

Oh and a special birthday smile from this little girl! :)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Re-thinking How We Think of Birthfathers

On December 21st our birthfather's rights will be terminated. I know many of you are confused (being as Xiomara is 5 months old), so I'll try to explain. At birth, a birthmom declares and sometimes does (or in our case doesn't) put a father on the birth certificate. If the father consents the adoption, paperwork can be signed right away when the birthmom signs her paperwork. However, in the majority of the cases, a birthfather is not involved in the adoption decision, therefore additional steps have to be taken to get his birth rights terminated.

If a birthmom has declared a father, an attempt to serve him with papers is made. Basically, this means that the sheriff's office will try and get a birthfather to sign papers so that it does not have to be brought to court to terminate. However, in most cases, they can't locate the father to even have him sign (at least according to our placing agency). Thus, it is published in the birthfather's local paper that he has 30 days to contest the adoption or else his rights will be terminated. Thus at the end of the 30 days, if no contest has been made, a court date is set, and on that date a birthfather's rights are terminated.

Which brings us to where we are today. Xiomara's birthfather is voluntarily letting his right to parent her pass. Of course, I'm happy about that because I obviously want her to stay with us, but there is a sadness in my heart as well. It's different than the sadness I have over her birthmom. While her birthmom voluntarily chose to give us Xiomara. Her birthdad is voluntarily choosing to ignore that he fathered her.

I know very little about her birthfather. I know his name, age, and a few other details about him and that is it. Sometimes I think I'm okay with that and that I don't need to know more. I take this attitude of, "He didn't care to know Xiomara, I don't care about him". But then God speaks to my heart and reminds me that is not from Him.

So many times, adoptive parents love and feel so strongly for the birthmom. We send our birthmom letters, gifts, pictures, etc. but we never even acknowledge a birthdad. Of course, many times we can't physically acknowledge him because we don't know who he is or where he lives. But in our minds, we can acknowledge him, but instead we choose to write him off as unimportant in this equation.


So very wrong.

He may not care about your child, or doesn't know your child exists, or even created your child through rape, but none of that gives us a right to hate him. Yes, I said hate. You see, satan has tricked us adoptive parents to think that the birthfathers are worthless, low-lifes, who deserve nothing.


God sees him as anything but all that!

But he hasn't only tricked adoptive parents into this thinking, no he has succeeded into tricking birthfathers themselves into thinking they are worthless, low-lifes, who deserve nothing.

Thus when a person thinks he is a worthless, low-life, who deserves nothing, they act that way. Oh how satan has the victory in this area. Oh how I'd love to see him defeated!

Am I excusing away what or how your birthfather acted? Absolutely not! But I also can't condemn and judge their behavior as I don't know their past. What made him who he is today? It certainly wasn't something positive that did.

So I urge you today to look at your heart and see how you view your child's birthfather. Do you view him with scorn? Rebuke? Anger? Or do you shower God's love on him? Just as God Himself loved him?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

5 Months & Blog Direction

Five months ago today, I was meeting this beautiful little girl for the first time ever! I can still remember the heat, the sights, the sounds, the nerves, and excitement. In fact, much like a woman re-plays her birth over and over in her mind, I find myself re-playing July 8, 2010 in my mind. It almost feels as if I am there waiting once again in the church entryway to meet my daughter for the first time. How in the world could it have already been five months?

I've been spending a lot of time in prayer lately about this blog. Where is the direction to go? What do I even write about? Is anyone still reading?

God has shown me that for now, I am to keep blogging, even if only my mom, husband, and sister read! :) I have a feeling that God is not finished. That more read this than I think. That more are impacted by the God given words than I'll ever know.

Over the last two years this blog has developed from just sharing our adoption journey with friends/family, to sharing information about adoption to those around the world. When Chris and I first talked about the day coming when we had already adopted and what we would do with this blog, we were certain we would turn it into a area to raise funds for families looking to adopt. That is still a dream, but one that we haven't seen God fulfill yet. However, that takes a lot of time, energy, and yes the money to do. Is it impossible? No way! I'm convinced that if God wants it to happen the right people will contact me at the exact right time.

For now though, I keep hearing God whisper to me to share about adoption. The realities, the road to it, tips, the birthparents. There are a few specific things that God has laid on my heart that I want to share in upcoming posts. However, I wanted to know if any of you have questions about adoption? If you do, feel free to leave a comment. If I get no comments, I'll just blog what God has laid on my heart and then wait for Him to direct when I am to write more!

In the meantime, look for some changes on this blog. Sometime ago, I won a blog makeover and was always saving it for this blog. I plan on using it to update this blog and make it so you can find the information you need to about adoption.