Is it kind of pathetic that each day, one of the highlights of Zoelle and I's day is getting the mail? Seriously, with the length of winter and how cold the majority of our winter has been, Zoelle and I rarely get out. We do though to check our mail, which is why it is always a highlight.
Yesterday, I had a very strong feeling that we would have some adoption grant news. Sure enough, there was a letter from God's Grace Adoption Ministry. I sat there and held it in my hand awhile knowing that either and "yes" or a "no" was in that letter. To be honest, when I opened the letter and started reading, I wasn't totally surprised to see the answer was "no". Disappointed, sad, hurt, confused...but not surprised. My first thought was, "I hate this adoption thing". Then, I wanted to cry out to God as to when it will be our turn?
Bless my little 22 month old daughter Zoelle. She came up to me about five minutes after opening the mail and told me, "Mama, wait upon the Lord". I was shocked! God specifically had her tell me that, in order to trust Him. Then later, I was online reading about an acquaintance's adoption journey and she had this scripture posted:
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." -Habakkuk 2:3
So do I think God is telling me to wait? Yes! Is it hard? Yes! Scary? Yes! That is the hardest part for Chris and I-to not be scared. We have done all we can do, and the rest is up to God. If we get denied on more grants, we have absolutely no idea where the money for the adoption will come from. The good thing is, God does know, and so in the meantime, we wait.