Anyone that knows me knows that I hate making decisions. I just sit there and think of all the "what ifs" that are out there. So needless to say, when I got a phone call this week concerning some things with our adoption, I was back to hating making decisions.
Here is what we were presented with this week: Our home study is just about a year old. Thus, it needs to be updated. That in and of itself isn't a real big problem. They just update it with anything new that has happened in our lives, etc. It does however cost $800 to renew. We do have the money for that, except it was going to be money set aside for the actual adoption, not the home study. However, I know God will provide when it comes to the adoption.
So, back to our decision. As I told you in my last post, we need to make a family profile. My plan was to work on it this week, but time has literally gotten away from me, and I have not been able to yet. However, here is our dilemma, most of the agencies that our agency work with do not want family profiles in which a child in the home is under a year old. Sigh...this means us. :( There are a few agencies that don't care, but in that situation, we would be presented to the birth mom as a "just in case". Meaning a birth mom may be presented with 4 families and doesn't think any of those match her situation, so they might pull our family profile out as a "just in case none of the other families work". See where I am going with this? If our profile is only shown a handful of times, the chance of us being chosen to adopt in the next year is slim. If we aren't chosen, we have to update our home study again next year, thus another $800. We also would need to create a whole new "updated" family profile next year, so again, more money and time. Sigh...and there is where the decision lies.
Do we update now and take that chance or do we wait to update until Meridian is a year old? In my heart (Vanessa) I think I know the answer to this question, but Chris and I haven't had much time to discuss it yet, so we haven't come to an answer. So, I come here to ask my faithful prayer warriors that God would give us a united decision. One that gives us complete and total peace no matter the outcome in the end.