Friday, February 5, 2010

Random thoughts from a soon to be adoptive mama

I wish I had news, but I don't. This adoption seems like a never ending wait. I have stuggled with ups and downs many times during the wait. The other night, Chris and I were sharing with a good friend about our adoption and how hard it has been. At the end of our conversation, I came to the conclusion that God must have wanted to strengthen my faith, my patience, my trust in Him. Because two years (coming up in July) is way longer than I ever thought I'd say we had waited. I look back and sometimes feel like I have wasted two years. On the other hand, I look back and think that if God wouldn't have made me wait this long, there is no way I would have the faith in Him I have today. I have also been able to see some incredible miracles while I wait.

I do have some fears. I fear that those who have supported us are wondering if we are ever going to adopt. Or what happened to their money. I know not all of our supporters read this blog, and so I fear that many think we have given up. We haven't! Which brings me to the fact that I am currently really struggling with how to make this adoption "real" to people. I don't know how to tell people we are adopting. Or if I should bring it up more or not. I don't have a big belly in front of people's faces all the time to remind them that yes we are still adopting. I want people to be just as excited for us as if we were pregnant, yet I find that most people aren't. I'm often sad that my online friends are sometimes the most supportive ones out there constantly asking me about it, or praying for it. All the while, my in real life friends haven't asked or said something in weeks. Oh I know it's not their fault. I think often times no one knows what to say or how to approach it. I just wish they would say something. Anything really. Just to confirm they care, they are excited for us to adopt. Meanwhile, I ask God to help me not to get sad or bitter toward it all. See yet another thing God is working on in me that I otherwise probably wouldn't have gotten to work on. :)

So keep praying dear blog readers. Ask God to show me Him in this wait, however much longer it may be. I really need to see Him through it all!


  1. I find this blog world a great way to find out things about my true life friends. I would've never known that it makes you sad to not be asked about your adoption. I'm sorry. May I suggest that when someone brings up the topic to let them know you would appreciate it very much if they keep asking, just as if you were pregnant. I have other friends that have gotten sad (or irritated) when I have asked because it's hard for them to keep telling everyone there is no new news and they are still waiting. Everyone is so very different and unique when it comes to wanting to talk about personal matters. From now on I will make it a point to ask you. :)

  2. Oh Angie, you are one the best! Not only are you are great friend, but you ALWAYS ask already. :) I agree though, for whatever reason writing through a blog "allows" many to share who they really are. Very good suggestion. I think it's been hard for me to bring it up to others because I often feel embarrassed (silly, I know) that we haven't adopted yet. I'm making it a point to be just as open in real life as I have been here. Oh and I have been frustrated in the past for people asking too! Hehe! :) I think it just is a rollercoaster cycle for us adoptive mamas. ;)

    Either way, thank you Angie! You are an amazing friend to have and I appreciate you!

  3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am realizing more and more that in life you just don't know. Coming from someone who tries to plan and know everyhthing ahead of time, I know how you feel. Though we did not wait as long with our adoption, it is hard to truly know the ups and downs and emotions adoption will bring until you experience them. "Be Still and know that He is God". This is a lesson that I am learning as I type. I pray the same for you and Chris, that your heart and mind will be at peace until the call comes.

  4. Thank you Julie for your prayers and thoughts. I'm learning to "be still" as well and even though it isn't easy, I am learning lots while I wait.

    Thanks for the prayers and the encouragment, it is SO appreciated!


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