Friday, November 27, 2009

It's Not Fair

Today I'm feeling melancholy concerning our adoption. I am so very happy when I hear that others have been able to adopt, yet it is my human nature to automatically feel a little down for myself.

It's not fair:

*that money talks
*that we don't have the funds to automatically say yes to any situation
*that we aren't as "marketable" because we already have a little babe at home.
*that we have it so strongly on our hearts to adopt, yet nothing has happened
*that we have been waiting a year and a half now

In the back on my mind, I know that God has the perfect plan and the perfect child waiting just for us. But today, I just want to scream, cry and shout that it is not fair! •

Sunday, November 22, 2009

It's Amazing!

I have come to realize that at this point in our adoption journey, it is hard to come up with posts for our blog as not a lot is happening in our adoption right now. We are at the waiting stage. Our profiles are out there, and now, we just wait. I was telling Chris this weekend, that in a way it is an odd disconnect. At any time, a birthmom could be looking at our profile, and we would have no idea. We just wait for a call.

It's funny how God works sometimes isn't it? Just when I had been feeling down because I don't have an update and there isn't much going on, He moves. It is actually pretty unbelievable. I had been just talking to God last weekend that I needed another sign to know that this adoption is still where He was leading us. Basically, that it is going somewhere. You would think by now that I would know that if I ask God for Him to show me something in our adoption, He will. Well yeah, I again, didn't really believe he would. On last Wednesday, Chris comes out to greet me in my van when I got home and here is how our conversation went:

Chris: "Hon, you aren't going to believe it!"
Me: "What?"
Chris: "We got a check from someone anonymously again."
Me: "Unbelievable! You are joking right?"
Chris: "Nope, we just got it in the mail from church."
Me: "Wow, I had totally just been asking God to show me again that He cares, and here He followed through! Again!"

Yep, pretty amazing isn't it? Just when I most need it, God follows through and shows me that He is in this. That He cares more than even Chris and I do.

So I again, don't know if you are on here reading this and if you are the same person/people who sent us money before, but it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that you have been faithful in allowing God to work through you and in turn bless us. I have always told Chris that each person who has committed to supporting us in prayer, or finncially, has helped a little one not only find his/her parents, but also helped a little one know Christ.

Thank you! By the way, I'm sorry this post did not come sooner. I had every intention of doing so, but we left to visit friends over the weekend and I didn't have time to update before we left. •

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Checking In

Update

I'll make this udpate short. Got a call yesterday afternoon. Birthmom picked a different family. We are at complete peace about it! God is good! :)

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Many of you have been asking why we switched our blog address. The main reason is for privacy. Our old address had our last name in it. While I fully believe that God will protect us and keep us safe, I did want to take precautions and be wise. We are also starting a family blog that will have a link on this blog. So again, I wanted our privacy to stay in tact.

Today I am feeling jittery and could use some prayers. We know that the birth mom has been shown our profile but is still making her decision. I have so many doubts and fears that I don't want to have at all. Again, we ask that you just pray for God to open the door if this is meant to be, or to close it if not. Ultimately, I want peace for the birth mom and ourselves.

Thanks to everyone! :) I will keep you updated. •

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Sweet Peace

A dear friend has been praying over me all week for sweet peace. She encouraged me to continually thank God for His peace. So that is what I have been doing. I have been working in each aspect of my life this week, to praise and honor God through being thankful for His peace.

I'm going to ask that you would pray for our family any time you think of us this whole next week to have sweet peace. This past week, we gave our social worker permission to present our profile to a birth mom. This is our first official showing of our profile, and somehow that makes me so nervous. We have so many questions. What if she doesn't pick us? Will we be sad? What if she does? How will we feel? What if we can't come up with the money? What will we do? How do we parent 3 children under the age of 3? Will this be the only time our profile needs to ever be shown, or is this the first of many times?

The great thing about all these questions is that God already knows the answers ahead of time. What sweet peace there is in knowing that! •
 

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